I love you, in the most sincerest way possible. I hope we meet again as characters in a different story. Maybe we’ll share a lifetime then. We met when the timing is not right. I never thought I would feel something like this again. I was afraid to be shattered for the second time around. It doesn’t come easily; I was too occupied with your circumstances that I didn’t have time to think of my own fears and how I was too scared to trust and love again.
I didn’t see you coming, it wasn’t something I have expected. When you walked down those lines of chafing dishes, it wasn’t some dramatic entrance. Lights didn’t focus solely on you, but I could not take my eyes off you. I didn’t know you’d be someone special to me. I was also not sure I wanted you to be.
I spent the first few days, filled with a mix of overwhelming excitement and devastating fear. I am used to the idea that the moment you get too excited about something, that’s the moment it slipd from your grasp. This is when our late-night text and calls mattered. Those times we’ll fall asleep on each other because we’re too busy enjoying the conversation and neither of us would want to say goodnight first even if we are already dozing off.
You are something that I have not been used to for the longest time. The way you look at me feels so foreign. I enjoy discovering new things about you. I have found comfort in the way you manage to not get tired of my rants, drams, and unending procrastination. I adore the way that you have always respected me, praising me and supporting me as if you are the proudest person the is of my achievement.
The truth is, somewhere along the way of all these whirlwind moments. I fell completely and irrevocably in love with you and this frightens me. I have always dreaded your entrance even before I met you.
It scares me that the walls I have long built have crushed down, the defenses I held for so long had crumbled already. It scares me that the moment I let my guard down I’ll wish a future with you and we both know I’m only seeing an illusion.
Yet at the same time, I admit that loving you has been far more incredible than anything else. There are moments where I know I can have the worst days and still have someone to lean on. Yet I know this is temporary because you won’t be staying.
And this is the most striking truth about us. To lose you would be another set of excruciating pain, emotionally and mentally. You might think this is easy for me but its not. I am tough on the outside but I’m the weakest person there is. I am always afraid to be left behind. Its hard to let go when everything feels so right, and I truly mean this.
I would never consider you as a mistake, but we both know how wrong this is, I’d always remember you as I lie awake in bed with a hard pounding heart. You’ll always be that exact line from a song , one that would leave me crushed always. You’ll be that unforgettable dream of what ifs, that would always haunt me when I wake.
I will always remember how you made me feel, love as intense as mine occasionally leads us to make poor choices- choices that might hurt our love ones. I don’t want you to regret anything. You are the only person whose happiness I’d put before my own despite the short time that I knew you.
I know you are confused between me and her that is why, I am ending this. I don’t want you to regret anything because of me. You might not believe me, but I love you. I love you in ways I never thought possible. I realized there are types of love that hurts so bad that it tears you up literally inside and that’s okay because you are worth suffering for. I don’t want to be selfish. Being torn between our circumstances taught me that somethings are worth suffering for.
I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Now, I can only wish we meet in another world where we could be together or maybe there is already an existing parallel world where you and I can share the love we have but not in this one.
The author wrote this in the hopes that maybe someday she will get her happily ever after even when it seems quite impossible. According to her, she will always wish him happiness and she will always love him more than words can ever express.